Here's What We Do

Every once in a while, my friends and family like to ask me: "What exactly do you do?" They want the down and dirty stories and rarely know just what they have gotten themselves in to with that question. They invariably end up running in the opposite direction with their hands over their ears.

The other day, I had the perfect opportunity to not just tell them but to show them exactly what we do. Our unit was hosting a "Shoulder Dystocia Drill" class and had a hideous Dummy (not you!) was laid up in a room to help the cause. They called her "Noel." She had plastic arms and legs, even a uterus, bladder and multiple, interchangeable vaginas. Not many of us can claim that! And I'm not even going to start to get into the cheap thrills we got by sending Doctor after Doctor in there to see her.

I thought it'd be funny to get some pictures with Noel before packing her up. Then I'd present the pictures to my boyfriend, and watch his face turn green as it always does if I say one word about work.

Ever notice on TV, how they like to stick the laboring woman's legs over the Doctors shoulders. I don't know what that's about, and I don't really care to find out, however, we thought Noel offered us the perfect opportunity to try it. It was a little hard covering up the screws in her knees and ankles, but a sheet worked well.

True to form, my boyfriend was HORRIFIED! "Who is that?!" "What are you doing taking pictures of your patients?! Aren't there rules about that?!" "That's disgusting! IS THAT A BABY?!" Haaaaaaaa! It was hilarious. Then I showed him the full picture:

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" was all he could say. Oh - and did I mention that we have some sexy Bitches working at our hospital??? Hey Angie! What's up?!