Posers. Here's a news flash, folks. I don't care if you work in the medical field! I don't care if you're a Paramedic or a Fire-Fighter (no need to wear the shirt!) or a Nurses' Aid or a Physician or Nurse of any sort. When you're in Labor and Delivery, sorry, but you know nothing. You're "Mom" or "Dad." So here's a list of hints you Posers may find helpful:
- Don't wear scrubs. First of all you look like an idiot. Secondly, it makes me think you want to steal a baby. Finally, if you're doing it so that I'll ask you what you do - it ain't going to happen. Give it up.
- Don't offer to start the IV for me. I don't need an anticubital botch-up. I'm pretty darn good at my job and I guarantee I can do it better than you.
- Don't tell me you're a Nurse when you worked as a Nurses' Aid 43 years ago. I'm pretty sure that doesn't count... and I have no idea how that is relevant to the situation here.
- Please leave your half-cocked Internet knowledge at home. It's useless, mostly incorrect and incomplete. I actually do know what I'm talking about and am not impressed with poorly pronounced medical jargon (especially EPIDERMAL!)
- Don't tell me how to treat your wife's terrible pain when she has finally felt her first contraction. You're a Podiatrist, for God's sake, (yeah, you!). How about you give me a foot massage at the end of my shift?!
- I don't bring drugs any faster because you've worked in a hospital before or because you stick your head out the door, which I find oh, so threatening!
- Quit watching the Fetal Monitor! Do you really think you can interpret what you're seeing?! Quit or it's going off!
- Finally, I take great offense to the insinuation that I would treat you differently because of your (actual or perceived) profession.
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